Thursday, August 8, 2013

Catching up with the Nac Mac Feegles and other rambles

I've had a very interesting realization that I have, in a sense, grown up with a fictional character. I'm not talking about Harry Potter--I'm referring to one of Terry Pratchett's creations, Tiffany Aching. I read The Wee Free Men in my early years of high school, and felt I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Since A Hat Full of Sky and Wintersmith. Then we did as fictional friends do, and grew apart. Until recently, when I discovered I Shall Wear Midnight. The reason why I bring attention to this is because Tiffany and I have grown together, where The Wee Free Men was less serious, like the light fare of Diana Wynne Jones, and I Shall Wear Midnight is much closer to Catch-22 in absurdity. For me, when I started reading about Tiffany, I was also passed the time playing Horseland (this was circa 2003, pre-cartoon)--and now I regularly read grimdark fantasy with a heady dose of violence. What is so exciting to me is that it's a good example of how interests can have personal influence, if only because our enjoyment is intimately colored of who we are and what we were
doing at the time. And now, how our enjoyment of interests can change in an unexpected way. The clearest explanation I can find in fiction is actually a similar (if more advanced) idea, in Mythago Wood by Robert Holdstock.

This comes on the heels of a lot of serious thought I've been given to interests, particularly in the context of geekiness. A lot has been said about the "fake geek girl", and one of the more salient points I took from that discussion is that no one holds the keys to the kingdom of geeks, determining who is allowed in. My favorite analysis comes from Under the Masks's Dr. Andrea Letamendi in this piece, because she discusses the insidious effects of prejudice in such a nuanced and interesting way. I feel that the prejudice Letamendi identifies applies to a crazy degree to women and people of color, but to a much a lesser extent, to geeks at broad. I'm referring to "interest prejudice", which I have seen a lot in academia. If you haven't read this book/watched this movie (or for geeks, played this game), then you're a lesser geek and perhaps not worth knowing, so goes the logic. Perhaps this is a feeling unique to me, but it has caused me to feel I can't develop a friendship with someone because I'm not as "worthy". It's a bizarre feeling, and it seems no geeky interest is free of it.

This has caused me to consider what kind of person I really want to be. For years, I've called myself a geek and tried to "prove it" by broadly being interested in many things. I have found many geekdoms to love, like Sherlock (not much of a stretch because I loved the stories), Firefly, and the Left 4 Dead games. There have also been things that haven't stuck: Halo, comics, and anime (with few exceptions, like Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo, and Claymore, and with these, it is an extreme love). Recently, I have come to find it's not worth pursuing the things I don't enjoy or even pretending any longer--and I have no idea why it took me so long to get me to come to that conclusion. I have decided I want to instead pursue the geekdoms I do love that much more, like writing and fantasy of all flavors. I feel willing to give new geekdoms a shot, maybe two or three. For those people I don't have a lot in common with on geekdoms, I don't want to let that be a division between us, and I don't want to feel inferior because I don't share the same passion as another person does (even if they try to make me feel that way!).

Reading I Shall Wear Midnight, I have realized that Tiffany has gone through a similar transformation, albeit on the Chalk and not about geekdom. Instead, she's gradually finding the confidence to be the individual she wants to be, doing the things she loves, and upholding her own beliefs. I Shall Wear Midnight is unique because this seems to be the first time I can remember where Tiffany's witchcraft is treated as an assault, a threat, or an offense to other humans around her. Her "hero's knot" is to figure out which is more important: assimilating to a dominant culture and those who want her to be "normal" and obedient, or following her true calling of witchcraft and doing the things she loves most, namely helping people and hanging out with the Nac Mac Feegles. She has to choose, in essence, between being less of a witch or being less normal. I haven't finished the book yet, but I have a feeling where Tiffany's ending will be. As I understand it, this is the final installment of Tiffany Aching's stories, and in some way, it feels like childhood is ending and Tiffay and I are growing into an adults. I always know where I can find my fictional friend, however, and feel nostalgic about my childhood fantasy.

A QUICK NOTE
Links of Interest hasn't disappeared forever! The feature will come back in two weeks (although if I'm lucky, I'll get one in this weekend). Next week, I probably won't post because of Gen Con! *happy jig*

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